ROLL CALL: Presidential Sized Edition: Britney, Paris, Alicia, Jordan & Two Heidi's!

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenaningans
by Jesse Spero

Britney Relaxes Over Holiday: It was just one year ago this weekend, that Brit shaved her head in "the buzz cut heard around the world," but this weekend Britney appeared to have had a more relaxing weekend. She shopped at Fred Segal on Melrose, went out to dinner with her father at Citrus restaurant at Social Hollywood, and stayed at home, People reports. "She seemed totally normal and level-headed, and everyone with her seemed calm," a customer at Citrus said.

Klum's Invite To Brit: If Brit gets tired of staying with her own parents, there's always Heidi Klum and Seal's house. In an interview on German television's ARD, the supermodel says of Britney, "She can call me and come live in our house with us for a couple of months. I would help set her straight," The Associated Press reports. "I am sorry when a young person gets thrown so off track. She has, of course, lived an extremely wild life," Klum added. Brit, Seal, Heidi, and the kids, all under one roof, with Tim Gunn popping in - sounds like the best reality show ever!

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Spencer Throws Down A Gauntlet To Madge & Brit: Speaking of scripted series, Spencer Pratt of "The Hills" is sounding off about his sometime girlfriend's upcoming album. Despite a severe online lashing from fans around the world over her debut single, Spencer contends Heidi Montag's new album will make Madonna and Britney envious. "When people hear what we have in the bank, it's gonna blow their minds," Spencer told People. "Madonna, eat your heart out. Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming - they're gonna sell 10-million plus." It's not known if those were Spencer's real words or if he just flubbed a line or two that the writers of his scripted reality series gave him.

Keys Enlists Sparks: In some real music news, Alicia Keys has tapped "Idol" champion Jordin Sparks as the opening act on her upcoming tour, E! reports. The duo's two-month North American tour starts on April 19 in Hampton, Virginia, and will visit 25 major U.S. cities.

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Paris The Pussycat Doll: If you're Paris, how do you celebrate your 27th birthday? As a Pussycat Doll, naturally! The hotel heiress spent her birthday in Vegas at PURE in Caesar's Palace Saturday, Us magazine reports. "It's all about confidence and being sexy," Hilton told Us. "I love that the Pussycat Dolls have that girl power thing going, and they're hot." A little past midnight, Paris took the stage in an all-leather, S&M-style outfit, asking the crowd, "Are you guys ready to get sexy tonight?" Next she appeared in a Swarovski crystal-covered get up and danced in a champagne glass, then she told the crowd, "That was one of the sexiest shows ever." All in a day's work for the birthday girl.

A-List Actors Step In For Ledger: And finally, some of Hollywood's best, Jude Law, Johnny Depp and Colin Farrell, will help complete Heath Ledger's unfinished final film, "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus," the BBC reports. A rep for Law confirmed that the three actors would play different parts of Heath's character's life, but is unaware how the film will be constructed using all four actors. The BBC speculates the new actors will assume Heath's character in alternate reality scenes, as the film deals with fantasy and magic.

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