In a departure from its standard wedding photo M.O., People magazine made the peculiar choice of featuring blushing bride Kim Kardashian on its cover this week minus her better half -- the new Mr. Kim Kardashian, a.k.a. Kris Humphries. The New Jersey Nets basketball player did not even get a small inset photo of him and Kim looking lovingly into each other's eyes or even smashing cake into each other's faces to salve the basket stuffer's 6' 9" tall ego.
The absence of Humphries from the People cover throws another log onto the fire of suspicion that the Kardashian-Humphries wedding was more business deal than sacred ceremony. The time frame of first date to marriage in less than a year fuels speculation that the Armenian princess was casting for the role of a prince and the Minnesota native fit the bill because he was a handsome celebrity athlete, his name started with a "K" and he was willing to play along with her krazy wedding plans. Of course, the fast-track marriage could be considered a long engagement in the Kardashian family; little sister Khloe knew her husband Lamar Odom for only three months before getting hitched.
Though the reality TV star is not the first bridezilla whose wedding was all about her, the over-the-top ostentation of the wedding exacerbated the traditional tilt toward the bride. Us Weekly reported that wedding guests had trouble taking the event "seriously" and mocked the bride for repeatedly boasting, "This is our version of the royal wedding!"
Another source put it more bluntly, "Everybody felt awkward, like it was all for the cameras and more like a TV show than a wedding."
A facetious Facebook page called "Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Hollywood divorce countdown" even has social media mavens making predictions on how long the marketing scheme, er, marriage will last, while a sports betting site is asking fans to wager on which will occur first: the first NBA regular season game or announcement of the Kim Kardashian-Kris Humphries divorce. "Both the looming NBA strike and news of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries wedding got us thinking our customers would love this betting option," said Dave Mason, Props Manager for BetOnline.com.
The newest NBA basketball wife might differ with cynics. In a blog post after her engagement she gushed, "I finally found my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete!"
Still, it is odd that People thought Humphries was so peripheral to the nuptials that he was MIA from the cover of its much ballyhooed Kardashian-Humphries wedding issue, for which the weekly paid $1.5 million for exclusive photo rights. In its three most recent wedding covers, the magazine featured both halves of the bride-and-groom cake topper: Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton, Prince William and Kate Middleton, and Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth.
The magazine's lame excuse that the couple's size difference made it hard to fit them both in the same frame was as plausible as the bride's claim her infamous sex tape with singer Ray J was "leaked."
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