Can you think of a better way to spend a sweltering week in August than cruising Haiti, Jamaica, and Mexico with Kate Gosselin? I didn't think so, but in case you're still wavering on whether or not to join Kate on a Caribbean Cruise, here are 5 reasons you should book today.
Steve
No, we're not sure about this. But bodyguard Steve Neild has been Gosselin's shadow for the past several years. Would she dare to cruise without him? I think not! Neild takes good care of Kate; carrying her purse, protecting her from the paparazzi, and even eating less desirable foods on family trips when Cara and Mady noshed all the pizza. If he'll do all this for Kate, might it not be too much to ask that he do it for guests on her cruise as well?
The Good Deed Aspect
Normally, booking a cruise isn't considered a good deed. But in this case, it is. Absolutely. Because, by cruising with Kate, you're allowing the harried mom a chance to continue the lifestyle to which she's become accustomed during the past many years, thanks to her TLC reality shows. It's true that a Haitian village ain't quite the Grand Wailea (where Kate renewed vows with ex Jon just before they split for good), but it beats rural Pennsylvania, where she currently lives.
Glamour
Fans and detractors alike must admit that the mom of 8 rarely goes out looking less than her best. If you're looking for a glamour role model, who will no doubt sport numerous new bikinis, short shorts, and heels for each cruise event, then this is the trip for you.
More Food - for You
In her quest to look fabulous, Kate lives on salad (or "bird food," as Jon once termed it). You don't need to worry that she'll clear the ship's buffets of all the good stuff. You can munch from breakfast until midnight, secure in the knowledge that Kate won't be touching that. Some people have to look good, you know.
It's a Great Idea!
"Doesn't Kate always have the best ideas?" the cruise ad asks. We won't answer that; we'll just reflect upon her idea to feature her infants and toddlers in a reality show … her idea to cut off much of her extended family … her idea to divorce her husband … No, we'll just go along with the brochure, and plan to "learn a new craft from the professional herself."
Happy cruising, Kate fans!
MORE FROM THIS CONTRIBUTOR:
Kate Gosselin: Regular Jobs are "Mediocre"?
Ideas for Kate Gosselin when "Kate Plus 8" Ends
Kate Gosselin Bikini and Clothes - Where to Buy
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