The wait is finally over -- Jessica Simpson has popped!
Jess gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Maxwell Drew Johnson, which is a surprisingly unique but pretty moniker. But of course Jess didn't come up with it herself - Maxwell is her fiancé Eric Johnson's middle name and his grandmother's surname.
However, don't be too disappointed about Jess not coming up with something wacky - she'll surely regale us all with insane tales of mommyhood now that Maxi has arrived.
Jess might decide to keep her baby's umbilical stump like Hilary Duff - the bubbly blonde recently revealed that she kept baby Luca's stump against her hubby's wishes and stashed it away in a baggie in her makeup drawer. Jess could always one-up Hilary by having Maxwell's incorporated in a piece of jewelry or something, or perhaps she'll be inspired to eat her afterbirth like January Jones. The blonde bombshell said that she had her placenta turned into capsules she could swallow after giving birth to baby boy Xander. Apparently the pills were supposed to combat any post-partum depression that the mad woman might have been experiencing.
If that's not strange enough, some women actually cook their placenta into their food. So maybe Jess could mix hers with some tuna fish or cook it with her favorite sweet treat - slutty brownies.
And speaking of afterbirth, don't be surprised if Jess describes every gruesome detail of what comes out of her body during pregnancy - this is the girl who happily said this to Jimmy Kimmel: "Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks it will be like a fire hydrant!"
Jess might also have some hilarious story about what her man had to go through while she was giving birth, although it's going to be tough to top what Miranda Kerr forced Orlando Bloom to do - the supermodel made her hubby pee in a bottle so that he would never leave her side during baby Flynn's delivery.
Jess might also overshare when it comes to her sex life post-pregnancy - according to Us Weekly, she described her sex drive like this back in March: "I'm kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!" So the thought of how she'll describe her sex after birth should send shivers down your spine.
Jess also loves to talk about her breasts, so there's no telling what she'll say now that they're fully functional. However, it will be hard for her to top Kendra Wilkinson's lactation horror story. The reality show star warned Jess that she'll soon be shooting milk everywhere, and forgetting to carry a breast pump could have disgusting consequences - according to Kendra, she had to breastfeed herself when her breasts started leaking at a party.
So what pregnancy horror stories do you think Jess will share now that she's finally given birth?
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