Another week in Seaside Heights, and this was a pretty low-key one. Our favorite roommates Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "J-Woww" Farley, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Vinny Guadagnino, Deena Cortese, and Paul "DJ Paulie D" DelVecchio, didn't even party all that much. This week's drama centered around Mike's paranoia, Jenni's love drama, and Snooki's urinary incontinence.
So let's recap.
Vinny's back in the beach house after his Staten Island kidnapping, and no one's happier to have his "boyfriend" back than Pauly. So everyone heads to Karma to celebrate, and while Snooki's dancing, she...um...well...loses her water on the dance floor. But not in a spill your drink, kind of way, but more in a pee yourself kind of way. Does Snooki immediately head home, shower and change clothes, then take herself to a clinic, or perhaps stop drinking so much? Nope. She gives herself a classy, "Shore Shower" which is basically taking yourself to the ladies room of a nightclub and spritz the ol' undercarriage with some cheap body spray, and keep on dancing! Then go home and just fall in to bed with your soiled clothes on so you smell so bad the next morning, you have to throw your underwear in the garbage. Yes, folks, that's Snooki...America's Sweetheart.
Snooki's pretty sure she has a UTI, which she tells us could either mean "Ultimate Tanning Institute" or "Urinary Tract Infection" so to help with the pain, she decides shots of tequila are the best medicine. Culminating in another loss of water right there on the beach house deck. Oh, and in case you were wondering...Snooki never washes her hands after using a public restroom.
Meanwhile, Mike is extremely paranoid and acting strange around the house, because he feels like people are talking behind his back even though he's being "nice" to everyone. And apparently, being "nice" to everyone means walking around with your pants so far down your nethers need to be pixalated as to not offend the viewing audience.
Snooki seems to lay on Mike's insecurities, and has him convinced that she and Deena have his back, and it's the rest of the guys in the house that are talking smack about him. Something Ronnie seems to drive home to Mike when he makes the comment that he's been nice too long and wonders when he's going to blow the house up like a terrorist. This whole story line is kind of confusing and makes Mike look entirely too desperate.
Jenni is having problems of her own with her boyfriend Roger. She keeps calling him, but he's MIA. Mike ends up seeing him at the Shore Store, and this makes Jenni feel even worse about things. But not to worry, the doorbell rings and her friend Dina appears with fresh neon colored hair extensions, so that's going to soothe the pain of rejection for a while. Snooki's dad shows up too, but Snooki was too busy with public and indecent urination to remember he was coming, so she sends him out for some cranberry juice and false eyelashes for Jenni. Poor Snooki's dad.
A little comic relief happens when Deena lures the guys into the bedroom to be scared by Snooki dressed up in a bunny costume complete with giant furry head. Some of the looks on their faces, especially Vinny's, are pretty priceless.
In the end, Mike figures out that it's Snooki who's stirring the pot and probably talking behind his back, and he let's an openly laughing Pauly and Vinny know that he's going to get revenge on her by calling up his friend "The Unit" and letting Snooki's boyfriend, Jionni, know all of the deep dark secrets she's been hiding.
So next week, we get to see Jenni scream and cry at Roger over the phone, and how Mike is going to enact his plan against Snooki. See you then, Shore fans!
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