It happened. George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis are history. We never really expect George Clooney to settle down and get serious for too very long, no matter how many red carpet appearances he grants his lovelies. The perpetual bachelor---if he had a British accent, a propensity for martinis (shaken, not stirred), and a bevy of chic-looking automatic weapons, he'd be the perfect real-life, '007.
Yet we love George's gracious nature. Never do the women in his life seem disrespected or publicly shamed. If anything, the break-up packages alone are worth a 2-year red carpet courtship. However, there still exist women who believe that the distinguished gentleman will one day meet his matrimonial match. These women may be far and few between. But while they daydream of CNN announcements of George Clooney's upcoming nuptials, we can daydream about how to snag Hollywood's most eligible bachelor.
Duh.Never divulge your Five Year Plan
In case you haven't noticed, George Clooney is a pretty busy guy with "stuff" going on all over the world. Unless you're willing to stop and roll down the red carpet at the drop of a hat, your little 5-year plan (babies included) will just have to wait.
Don't be star-struck.
You won't be helping your cause any if you're making goo-goo eyes at Brad Pitt at the Clooney family barbecue. (Not to mention that Angie's not having that.) In any case, save all that gooey stuff for George. Or he'll kick you and your Dior toothbrush out of his Lake Como palace.Be Younger Than George
In case you haven't noticed the trend, Georgie's lovely ladies tend to be a tad younger than he. Chalk it up to Hollywood tradition. He obviously knows what he likes. And what he likes is usually shy of at least 10 years.
Be a Motorcycle Enthusiast (Or at least pretend to be)
Sarah Larson took one for the team when she and George suffered a spill while he was driving them on his motorcycle. A car clipped the bike, causing the pair some minor injuries. Sarah and her good nature hobbled in her couture alongside George on crutches at the "Michael Clayton" premiere in 2007.
Be really gorgeous.
Come on, now.
Keep your mouth shut.
There's a reason why you never hear about George Clooney passed out in a cigar lounge wearing Michael's "Beat It" jacket while smeared in J-ello and peanut butter. First of all, when you're that filthy rich, you can afford silence. Second, he tends to choose companions who are polite and discreet---traits you must have to pass Clooney's potential partner screening process.
Be a fully licensed, successful hypnotherapist.
Indeed, this is perhaps the only tactic that will work, as you will need to be a hypnotherapist in order to convince George Clooney that he ever wants to walk down the aisle again.
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- peanut butter