Dish Of Salt: Top Ten TV Quotes Of The Week (1/23/09)

By Laura Saltman

LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- #10 -- "Congratulations. The baby's arm is sticking out. Why don't you high five it?"

-- ABC's "Desperate Housewives"

VIEW THE PHOTOS: 2009 Presidential Inauguration Balls

Tom Scavo to wife Lynette (during a flashback) who has just secured a new job over the phone while she is in labor and Tom is trying to get her to the hospital.

***

VIEW THE PHOTOS: 'Lost' - Scenes From Season Five

# 9 -- "When people are at war or their houses burn down, they might not be in the mood either. But it's my job as a 'journalist' to be insensitive for entertainment purposes."

-- NBC's "Kath and Kim"

***

VIEW THE PHOTOS: Desperate Housewives Season 5

Kim Day to her mom, Kath, outside a crime scene (while making an audition tape to become a local news reporter) about reporting negative news stories.

#8 -- "To put it into horse racing terms, imagine 22 horses and a donkey. You just wouldn't stand a chance."

-- FOX's "American Idol"

***

Simon Cowell to contestant (and terrible singer) Tiffany Shedd during auditions at the famous Churchill Downs horse-racing track, home of the Kentucky Derby.

#7 -- "I've got a lot going on. I'm super attractive. You don't feel a connection with me? Like who do you think you are? God?"

-- ABC's "The Bachelor"

Bachelorette Natalie's classless rant alone in the limo after Jason doesn't give her rose during their one-on-one date and sends her home.

***

#6 -- "She is not going out looking like a 'Hannah Montana' meets a call girl!"

-- ABC's "Brothers and Sisters"

Sarah Walker to her mom, Nora, who helped her 10-year-old daughter, Paige, pick out an outfit for a party she deems way too risqu.

***

#5 -- 'I need to wait for my moment, but then I'm going Black Ops, off the radar, no accountability. This war I'm going to win!''

-- CW's "Gossip Girl"

Blair to her maid, Dorota, after being told by the Headmistress at her school that she was given detention and her Yale acceptance was put on notice.

***

#4 -- "Psst, Barack. He's right behind you!"

-- Comedy Central's "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart "

Jon Stewart , during his Changefest '09 special, as he comments on President Obama's swearing in speech, which includes some indirect knocks on the outgoing President George W Bush.

***

#3 -- "This afternoon Barack Obama was sworn in on the same bible that Abraham Lincoln used, as opposed to Joe Biden who was sworn in on the Hogwart's spell book."

-- Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report"

Stephen Colbert on the enormously large book used to swear in Vice President Joe Biden.

***

#2 -- "Your camp isn't gone. It hasn't been built yet."

-- ABC's "Lost"

Daniel Faraday to Sawyer and Juliet explaining that the Island has moved back in time (as it's finally revealed that the Island is some sort of portal for time travel).

***

#1 -- "First of all. How good looking is my wife!?"

-- CNN, FOX, MSNBC Inauguration Coverage

President Obama's opening remark to the crowd gathered at the Neighborhood Ball, the first of 10 inaugural balls he and the new First Lady, Michelle Obama , attended.

Related Content from AccessHollywood.com:
PLAY IT NOW: Dish Of Salt: Jason Priestley Directs '90210' (Jan. 24, 2009)
PLAY IT NOW: Dish Of Salt: Meet 'The Bachelor' - Jason Mesnick, Part I

MORE ACCESS ON THESE TOPICS: Dish Of Salt - NBC - Top Ten - American Idol - ABC