Last night, "Dancing With the Stars" season 16 premiered to some interesting revelations. Here's a look at what we learned from last night's premiere.
Carrie Ann 'Liked It Rough'
"Bachelor" Sean Lowe channeled his inner "playboy" in a casino-themed foxtrot. Somewhere, Desiree's brother Nate is having a field day over Sean's Hugh Hefner costume. ("See? I told you he was a playboy!" "See? I told you there wasn't a lot of re-ci-pro-ca-tion!")
Sean and Peta Murgatroyd's performance divided the panel. Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli liked his posture and footwork, but felt that the performance lacked finesse. But Carrie Ann Inaba defended the performance, saying that she liked his masculine strength.
Network television has given us some interesting revelations this week. On Thursday, we learned that "Glee's" Blaine (Darren Criss) "is on the bottom"...of the Cheerios pyramid. Now, we know that Carrie Ann "liked it rough."
Sean and Peta earned a score 19.
Brooke Liked It Tactless
Somehow it's not as much fun to rip on Brooke Burke-Charvet since she underwent treatment for thyroid cancer. Still, I had a good laugh over some of these questions she was asking the contestants.
To Dorothy Hamill, Brooke pointed out the history of Olympians who have done well on the show, and asked Dorothy if she felt the pressure. Dorothy graciously joked that she didn't because she was an "old Olympian."
Dorothy and Tristan MacManus earned a score of 21.
To recovering alcoholic Andy Dick, Brooke asked him if the pressure of the competition could possibly put him in danger since he was an addict. In mock shock, Andy joked, "I cannot believe you went there!"
I'm still trying to make up my about Andy. It's like he's the lovechild of Carson Kressley and Woody Allen. Andy and Sharna Burgess earned a 17 for their fox trot.
Zendaya Coleman No Longer Has a Last Name
"Joe? Just call me Joe? As though you were one of those stupid 22-year-old girls with no last name? Hi, I'm Kimberly. Hi I'm Janice. Don't they know you're supposed to have a last name? Its like they're an entire generation of cocktail waitresses."
In any case, mononymous Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy topped the leaderboard with their contemporary number that earned a score of 24.
Status Quo Has Been Restored On 'DWTS'
Last season, producers rewarded the long-suffering Tony Dovolani by giving him Melissa Rycroft. But now, it seems that order has been restored in the "Dancing" world.
Surprise, surprise. This season, Derek Hough has hot, young, slim partner who will do well (Kellie Pickler). And Tony's partner (Wynonna Judd) is a likely candidate for early elimination. Talk about the show wanting "to go back to its basics"!
Kellie and Derek earned a 21 for their cha cha cha while Wynonna and Tony earned an 18 for their cha cha cha.
Usually When You're In Front of a Judge, It's a Lot Harder
Poor, poor Cheryl Burke. Not only did not land that "Bachelorette" gig, but now it appears that she won't survive very long this season.
She and D.L. Hughley performed a cha cha cha that Bruno criticized as having no timing and under-rehearsed. D.L. landed at the bottom of the leaderboard with a score of 12. However, he remained in good spirits. He joked, "usually when I'm in front of a judge, it's a lot harder than that."
In other developments, the athletes landed in the middle of the pack. Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas earned a score of 21. Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff earned a score of 21. And Victor Ortiz and Lindsay Arnold earned a score of 18.
Ingo Rademacher and Kym Johnson earned a score of 20. Lisa Vanderpump and Gleb Savchenko earned a score of 18.
More From This Contributor:
Note:This was written by a Yahoo! contributor. Join the Yahoo! Contributor Network here to start publishing your own articles.