This week on "The Bachelorette," two B-Men got the boot: Brian and Brandon, two men who found themselves at the opposite end of daddy issues.
"Bachelorette" Desiree Hartsock received some "bizarre" news from Chris Harrison. Apparently, Brian had a girlfriend back home.
Des decided to approach Brian herself and to give him a chance to come clean on his own. When he continued to deny, girlfriend Stephanie entered to give the "lying, cheating, deceitful pig" a piece of her mind.
Apparently, this guy had been stringing her along while secretly showing up for "Bachelorette" casting calls. She also claimed that had tried to break up with him, but he told her that they just "needed a break" and that he wasn't planning on seeing anyone else. She also accused him of being a poor role model for her son, Donovan, and for wasting Desiree's time.
When Desiree decided to send this guy packing, a burly bouncer named Pauly showed up to escort him out.
Obviously Brian was "not here for the right reasons." However, he's not the first franchise alum to have a fallback significant other waiting for them back home. You have to wonder why so many contestants like Melissa Rycroft, Chantal O'Brien, Lindsay Yenter, and Tierra the Terrible found relationships so quickly after being dumped, or why guys like Ed Swiderski were never called out for having girlfriends back home. Why single out Brian in particular?
Still, I have to give credit to Des. She is the kind of girl who follows the Girl Code. Last week, she sent a guy home because he had previously dated one of her friends. This week, she let Stephanie speak her peace, and even offered a sympathetic hug. Des is the kind of girl who would put her friends first and respect other women.
Brandon took the Brian drama a little too personally. When he learned that Stephanie was a single mom, he started lamenting his own childhood and how so many father figures had abandoned him.
He decided to let it all hang out. (Thankfully, unlike last week, "letting it all hang out" did not involve a skin-tight Speedo that barely covered his stuff.) Despite having known Desiree for less than three weeks, and not having had a single one-on-one date, he decided to tell her that he was falling in love with her. He also promised that he would never hurt her.
Desiree rewarded him with a kiss, but from the body language we could see that she was a little creeped out. While he was very into the kiss, she was leaning back and barely giving him pecks.
Later, at the rose ceremony, she sent him home empty-handed. In a desperate tone, he told her that she was making a big mistake. She followed him out of the mansion and gave a feeble explanation about how she just didn't feel that kind of chemistry with him. In his exit ITM, he talked about how "someone left me again."
I could see one of two possibilities with Brandon: either he's playing up the sob story in hopes of pursuing an acting career, or he really is that wounded. If the former, then he's obviously "not here for the right reasons." If the latter, then he really needs to sort out his personal demons before he enters into a relationship.
Either way, Brandon provides a valuable lesson on what not to do in the early stages of a relationship. Don't dump your emotional baggage on someone you barely know. And don't tell someone that you're falling in love when you haven't even had a first date.
Also going home this week was Dan, but given that he wasn't one of Desiree's "B-Men," he didn't seem to make much of an impression on either Des or the viewers.
Poor Kasey was short-changed in a date where love did not defy gravity. Des had planned on picking up Kasey for their one-on-one date, but unexpectedly ended up having to deal with the Brian drama. As a result, she was unfocused and emotionally drained by the time she left with Kasey.
The date consisted of "bandalooping" on the side of a building. At first Des was eager to show off her rocking moves, but then it dawned on her that dancing on the side of a building was actually kind of scary.
Later, they had a romantic dinner planned on the rooftop of the building. However, Mother Nature intervened and killed the mood with some chilly Santa Ana winds. At first, Des and Kasey tried to use the wind as an opportunity to cuddle. Then, they decided to have a little fun by jumping into the pool, but the water was freezing. What a buzz kill!
Given the weather and the fact that Desiree was still worn out from the Brian drama, she and Kasey were not able to have meaningful conversations or romantically connect. Still, Des recognized that Kasey had gotten short-changed, and that he had done his best to be supportive throughout their date. So she rewarded him with a rose and a hug.
No kiss? Looks like the poor guy has been friend-zoned. Don't worry Hashtag Kasey. If it doesn't work out with Des, you could always try blogger Jenna from Ben's season.
In other developments, the first group date consisted of a dodge ball tournament. The blue team defeated the red team for a chance at some alone time with Des. However, Des decided to pull a Sean Lowe by inviting both teams to the after-party. She decided that since it was so early, she wanted to take the opportunity to get to knows all the guys.
Babbling Brooks injured himself in dodge ball and had to go to the emergency room. Apparently he had broken his finger. I'm sure many viewers were wondering if he was pulling a "Tierra." How is it that a guy with a broken finger ends up having oxygen tubes up his nose?
After leaving the ER, Brooks was determined to make the after-party. While he certainly won sympathy points from Des, he surprisingly did not receive the group date rose. That honor went to Chris.
The second group date consisted of shooting a movie and performing Western-themed stunts, under the tutelage of the stunt team from Disney's "The Lone Ranger." After some cowboy bootcamp, the horse-riding, cowboy-fighting, Spanish-speaking Juan Pablo won that portion of the date and was rewarded a private screening of "The Lone Ranger." Later, Des described him as the best/worst movie date because his sex appeal was so distracting.
I'd like to see Juan Pablo make it to the end and take on brother Nate Hartsock. Once he starts yelling in Spanish, Nate would be rendered speechless!
While Juan Pablo won the cowboy portion of the date, the group date rose actually went to James. He talked about how his father was suffering from pancreatitis, and how it was so difficult to be away from him. He wanted some reassurance that he wasn't wasting his time with Des.
While James' sob story was certainly moving, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. James seemed to be giving a subtle form of an ultimatum, a kinder gentler version of the old "if you don't feel for me, I want you to send me home!"
Meanwhile, Ben continued to play the sympathetic single dad card, while stealing more alone time with Des. ("Shhh it's our secret.") The guys were hoping that Des would send him home. But because the show needs a villain, Ben survived another rose ceremony. Still, I'm wondering if he and skinny-dipping Courtney Robertson might make a more suitable match.
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