Matt Damon is Jealous of Jake Gyllenhaal’s Bald Head

In what's got to be one of the sillier celebrity news stories as of late (and that's, obviously, saying something), some reporter asked Matt Damon -- currently bald for his role in the sci-fi thriller "Elysium" -- how his dome compares to that of Jake Gyllenhaal, who shaved his head for his part in "End of Watch."

"Wow, I try not to envy, but I have to say Jake's got a damn good-looking head," Damon told People. "He sure does have a beautiful round head."

Don't worry -- there's more!

"Normally you say, 'That's a beautiful head of hair, but that's a beautiful head he's got,'" Damon said "laughing." "Gyllenhaal definitely gets the blue ribbon for the best bald head over me."

We would make a joke about how someone better get on seeking a Gyllenhaal response ASAP but we're 99% sure there are like seven reporters who have actually already been told to do just that.