(Nice try, Mariah, but you won't be awarded any Blair Waldorf medals for pulling off diabolically elaborate schemes anytime soon.)
Bieber's lawyer, Howard Weitzman, issued a statement, declaring: "This information proves Mariah Yeater fabricated the story. Our independent investigation indicates Ms. Yeater never met Justin, she has consistently identified another man as the child's father, and Ms. Yeater and her co-conspirators hatched this scheme in order to extort money from him and to sell her story to the media."
Guess he won't have to take that DNA test, after all.
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- Justin Bieber