Ashton holds forth at his Web pulpit. (Chime.in)Ashton Kutcher has posted a video on the new social networking site chime.in wherein he gets all faux-intellectual about how the rise of the internet has destroyed truth in media. Kutcher's deep thoughts, excerpted:

I started thinking about that in relation to media and social media today. The threshold to actually have literature printed and distributed -- the cost structure went down to zero dollars. Thereby, there is no gatekeeper of the truth. We are our own editors, and we are our own publishers. We are our own printers. Thereby people can bastardize the truth in any way, shape or form that they want. And spread that around the world ... a lie can travel halfway around the world before the truth can leave someone's lips.

Uri Schanker/WireImageIt's not often you get to put the names Matthew Perry and Muammar Gaddafi in a sentence together, but thanks to a vintage sitcom clip from 1987, we now have that pleasure. Even stranger? Matthew Perry's short-lived series "Second Chance" correctly predicted the death of Gaddafi within three months.

In the sitcom's pilot, it is the year 2011 and St. Peter is doling out eternal damnation or eternal bliss to the recently deceased. After sending Gaddafi Satan's way, St. Pete's next customer is a hovercraft-accident victim who is neither good nor bad enough to go either way. So the dead dude is sent back in time to 1987 to positively influence his teenage self -- played by an 18-year-old Matthew Perry, credited here as "Matthew L. Perry." (How formal of you, Mr. Perry!)

David Livingston/Getty ImagesTaylor Armstrong is blasting reports she's dating fellow Bravo reality star Matt Nordgren. The Real Housewife tweets: "I am NOT dating anyone from anywhere! Stop the rumors! I am trying to heal with my daughter."

Armstrong's husband, Russell, committed suicide in August; Nordgren, who stars on Bravo's "Most Eligible Dallas," took Armstrong as his dubiously platonic date to some events in Dallas earlier this month. Cue the hookup speculation.

Mark Sullivan/WireImageBreaking: John Travolta can't get a reservation at KFC, the world's foremost fried-chicken chain restaurant. According to the Daily Mail, the actor was denied special seating at a KFC in West Sussex, England when one of his representatives called to request a table for the A-lister and his entourage.

The KFC employee who picked up the phone relayed that Travolta -- in town for an annual Scientology conference -- would have to wait in line like everyone else.

But don't they know who he is?!

Getty ImagesLindsay Lohan arrived 85 minutes ahead of schedule to begin court-mandated community service at the L.A. County morgue this morning, People.com reports. In an effort to correct yesterday's mistake, when she was turned away for being late (her excuse: a dentist appointment), Lohan rolled up in her new Porsche circa 5:35 a.m. for work at 7 a.m.

"Ms. Lohan completed her orientation this morning and she's currently working, doing janitorial duties. She's doing fine," Assistant Chief Coroner, Ed Winter, said in a statement.

On Thursday, Lohan tweeted: "With all of the stress and pressure from yesterday and today,  I've never been so happy to go to therapy!!!"

Alo Ceballos/FilmMagicToday is Kim Kardashian's 31st birthday. Yesterday her husband of two months, Kris Humphries, stoked speculation of a marriage on the rocks when he was spotted carrying boxes out of their New York hotel -- and temporary apartment -- sans wedding ring. Sources tell Page Six that all's well in Kardashianland: the couple held hands at dinner on Wednesday night and are planning to celebrate her birthday in Vegas this weekend.

Given the tabloid drama and on-camera incompatibility issues, we remain skeptical about the Kim-Kris union in the long term. (Good thing there's a prenup.) Behold, 17 reasons why the allegedly unhappily married reality star should probably dump the New Jersey Net before turning 32:

Charlie Sheen/Whosay.comLadies: if some dude approaches you wearing a Charlie Sheen mask at a Halloween party, or anywhere really, walk away slowly.

No, sprint.

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Alo Ceballos/FilmMagicNow here's a great idea: Dina Lohan intends to pen a memoir about raising Lindsay, and is shopping around the concept to publishers, TMZ reports. The site saw a draft of the book's prologue, in which the momager -- or her ghostwriter -- supposedly opines: