Sheen guzzles fake tiger blood. - Jean Baptiste LaCroix/WireImageCharlie Sheen is applying to trademark 22 catchprases from his manic media meltdown. According to Radar, a company called Hyro-gliff -- which shares a business address with Sheen's lawyer, Marty Singer -- filed an application on behalf of the downwardly spiraling star. Among the phrases:

*Tiger Blood

*Duh, Winning

*Vatican Assassin

*Rock Star From Mars

*Sober Valley Lodge

*Sheen's Goddesses

*Violent Torpedo of Truth

*Defeat Is Not an Option

Those last two comprise the title of Sheen's sold-out trainwreck of a national tour. The trademark filing was done in mid-March amid a mad rush by rival profiteers to claim "Adonis DNA," etcetera.

Let's do an informal poll: Are you tired of these Sheen-isms? Us too. It was funny at first, but the joke is wearing thin. Plus, Sheen is a terrible human being. At the end of the day, we don't want to wear a T-shirt emblazoned with the utterances of a rage-filled, nasty sitcom actor with a god complex.

The most annoying catchphrases are often the

"OMG I found my #PROM pic! LMAO!!" quoth Snooki. - TwitpicSnooki, who we now know to be a skilled gymnast/wrestler, revealed her prom photo today on Twitter as part of a promotion for Disney's upcoming film "Prom."

A surprisingly tasteful look, no?

Meanwhile, it would appear that Snooki's wrestling career may be short-lived.

She told a TMZ cameraman that while her Wrestlemania experience was "fun and awesome," she "doubts" she'll return to the ring due to her "Jersey Shore" commitments.

A true bummer for us all.

A New York Times bestselling author. - WireImageIn just a few years time, Lauren Conrad will have six books to her name.

The former "Hills" star has signed a second three-book deal with HarperCollins, according to UsMagazine.com

Conrad's first teen novel, "L.A. Candy," improbably hit No. 1 on a New York Times best-seller list, and it was followed by two more installments, "Sweet Little Lies" and "Sugar and Spice."

This new trilogy, titled "The Fame Game," is a spin-off focused on Madison Parker, the "mean girl" in the "L.A. Candy" books.

"This series is about a girl who loves everything that fame is, and that's all she's ever really wanted," Conrad said. "[Madison] has fun with the press, she enjoys the attention, she welcomes scandal!"

And when is Conrad's prime writing time?

"Between 11 p.m. and 2 a.m.," Conrad said. "My phone doesn't ring, and there's nothing on TV!"

Struggling writers across the country are no doubt throwing things at their computer screens right now.

There be may an entire subculture of lesbians who look like Justin Bieber, but 22-year-old singer-songwriter Dani Shay appears to be an exact replica of the Canadian boy wonder. She could be his stunt double; if Bieber has a cold, she might as well fill in for him on tour. She's got talent, too. Here's Shay performing "Love The Way You Lie":

Shay's Facebook page reveals a fondness for inspirational proverbs. She identifies as "spiritual, but not religious." She does not identify as a Bieber fan.

The Cannon-Carey twins -- due any day now -- will presumably think twice about inviting friends over once they hit elementary school age.

Cannon revealed on his radio show this morning that their house is filled with artistic nude pictures of him and Carey.

"My children are going to have to see these pictures," he said. "It's a little weird... It's a little nasty. I mean, have you ever seen your parents naked?"

He continued, "When they get older and their friends come over, they will see the pictures and say, 'Your daddy's butt naked.' I don't want my naked booty out there for everyone to see!"

If he is really this concerned, there seems to be an easy solution to this problem: take down the photos. Though, given their proclivity for sharing intimate images with the world, we have a feeling that won't be so easy for them.

Two dimensions only for the Royal pair. - Getty ImagesThough all signs had pointed to a Royal Wedding broadcast in 3-D, the Royal Family has reportedly turned down an offer to have the April 29 ceremony air on television in three dimensions.

British Sky Broadcasting had been lobbying for a 3-D telecast, going to great lengths (even staging a mock ceremony at a nearby church) to convince the Royal Family to make the leap. But apparently the deciding factor was the "extra 'footprint'" that the 3-D cameras would have taken up in the abbey, according to the New York Times.

"I know you have all become increasingly enthusiastic about 3-D and I'm sorry that this will come as a disappointment," a spokesman wrote in a letter to Sky and other broadcasters, which was quoted in the British newspaper The Guardian. "I hope you feel the process we have gone through will be helpful for other live events and of course we do not rule out facilitating 3-D at some point in the future."

The House of Windsor is making some technological strides with the

The duo at this year's Oscars. - Ethan Miller/Getty ImagesBeing a millionaire bachelor isn't cool. You know what's cool? Being a BILLIONAIRE HUSBAND.

Sean Parker, the real-life ex-Facebook president portrayed by Justin Timberlake in "The Social Network," has finally forgone his rumored ladies' man ways to settle down with one woman. According to People.com, Parker is engaged to Alexandra Lenas, a pretty singer-songwriter from New York City.

Parker -- who became a Silicon Valley celebrity after co-founding the music-sharing service Napster -- was later recruited to help run Facebook with Mark Zuckerberg. He was reportedly pushed out of the company in 2005 after a cocaine-related scandal in North Carolina. After the box-office success of "The Social Network," wherein Timberlake channels Parker as a womanizing sociopath, the entrepreneur voiced concern over the film's unflattering characterization of him. He called Oscar-winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin "by far the weirdest person" he'd ever met.

Meanwhile, an image search reveals Lenas is

Flav. - Tim Mosenfelder/Getty ImagesThis week in random feuds: the people vs. Flavor Flav. A handful of disgruntled staffers at Flav's new fried chicken restaurant in Clinton, Iowa, complain that their paychecks are bouncing.

Former employees Kelly Butler and Kim Kostka told radio station WQAD (via the New York Daily News) that banks could not accept their checks from Flavor Flav's Chicken. "My check was only $150 and they couldn't even cash it," opined Butler, who claims FFC owner Nick Cimino owes her three weeks of pay.

Several anonymous employees back their stories; under pressure, Cimino gave a vague response about a "glitch" with the restaurant's credit cards -- and then accused the women of exacting revenge for being fired.

As for the rapper-turned-reality star-turned dining entrepreneur, he chalks up the controversy to staffer jealousy over his celebrity status.

"It's not true information first of all, and second of all maybe these are people that's just jealous of me being here and probably want to see me