John Shearer/WireImageIt's hard to believe there was ever a time when Katie Holmes was NOT the doting wife of Tom Cruise and mother of his impeccably chic 5-year-old daughter, Suri.

Before her over-the-top fairytale romance with the loopy, larger-than-life movie star/madman, Holmes lived a relatively normal existence as a TV actress with a promising career in movies. After "Dawson's Creek" ended in 2003, she relocated from North Carolina (where the show was produced) to New York (where she rode the subway as if she were a struggling actor en route to an audition.) Holmes balanced her good-girl "Creek" role as Joey Potter with darker big-screen parts in "Pieces of April," "Go" and "Wonder Boys." Then came a slew of mainstream roles in "First Daughter," "Batman Begins" and "Thank You For Smoking."

Then she met Tom Cruise.

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If the 72 day wedding wasn't already a tip-off, the Kardashians reserve the right to change their minds at a moment's notice.

Only this time, they've changed their minds and decided their brain-dead "Saturday Night Live" doppelgangers are suddenly funny.

After "SNL" jumped on the Kim-got-married-for-publicity bandwagon with a sketch called "Kim's Fairytale Divorce," younger sister Khloe Tweeted, "Ha! I just saw the SNL skit they did and I could not stop laughing… LOL." She was apparently so smitten that she Tweeted it twice: "u have 2learn2 laugh at urself life is 2short ... Its SNL... They r supposed 2make fun Its not who we are&I know that."

Alberto E. Rodriguez/WireImageAfter some vagueness over the status of his long-term relationship with Miss Piggy, Kermit The Frog tells GQ magazine they remain crazy about each other:

I've known Piggy for a number of years -- a number of decades, really, though she might not appreciate that candor. But yes, there is a spark for certain, and it is still sparking. Passion, I would say. It's passion to either extreme.

Kermit and Piggy: role models for everlasting love not staged on reality television.

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Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImageYikes. Avril Lavigne says she got jumped while partying at Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel this weekend with boyfriend Brody Jenner.

"I don't fight," the "Complicated" singer tweeted. "I don't believe in it. To clear things up I got attacked by 5 people last night out of nowhere. Not cool. My face is f-----." Elaborating, Lavigne continued: "As in black eye, bloody nose, hair ripped out, scratches, bruises and cuts. So not ok to be abusive to others. Violence is NEVER the answer."

Kevin Winter/Getty ImagesThe best way to silence pervasive baby daddy rumors? Take a DNA test, and announce the results publicly. That's how Justin Bieber intends to approach the first major scandal to mar his squeaky-clean teen dream reputation: in two weeks, the pop idol will voluntarily undergo a paternity test to prove he is not the father of Mariah Yeater's three-month old son.

If the results redeem The Biebs, TMZ reports the 17-year-old singer might sue Yeater for slandering his good name in her lawsuit and "world exclusive" interview in Star magazine.

Mark Metcalfe/Getty ImagesKim Kardashian is back in Los Angeles -- and looking uncharacteristically crabby -- after meeting with Kris Humphries at his Minnesota home this weekend. The reality TV princess touched down at LAX late Sunday dressed like she was going to a funeral, sporting all black, no makeup and a dreary expression. (Check out the photos on Radar Online.)

Kardashian flew up North on Saturday for a 4-hour, save-the-marriage sitdown with Humphries and the pastor who married them. Sources tell TMZ a reconciliation is "up in the air," which fits quite nicely into the dubious dramatic narrative of this dubious marriage on this dubious reality TV show. Is Kim a genius? Possibly.

Lindsay Lohan/TwitterWell, that was quick. After countless hours of nonstop courtroom drama, Lindsay Lohan checked in and out of jail in the span of about four-and-a half hours. The reason for her short stay: overcrowding.

According to TMZ, Lohan's stint at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, Calif., began at 9 p.m. Sunday night. She was yanked out around 1:30 on Monday morning.

TMZTurns out Justin Bieber's alleged baby mama accused someone else of paternity: her ex-boyfriend. In a wow, pants-on-fire report -- blowing the lid off Yeater's allegations that Bieber is the father of her 3-month old son -- TMZ talked with Frances Lippe, the grandmother of  John Terranova, whom Yeater used to date.