As the Moet champagne flowed, stars poured on the penis jokes.
Funniest: "Hello, I'm Seth Rogen," said the "50/50" star from the podium standing next to co-presenter Kate Beckinsale, "and I'm currently trying to conceal a giant erection." As a clearly embarrassed Beckinsale laughed, the camera cut away to Jodie Foster's two sons sitting in their mother's lap, increasing the awkwardness for viewers at home.
Girl Power: Tina Fey and Jane Lynch couldn't resist making a joke about the endowment of nominee Thomas Jane's title character in "Hung," and immediately high-fived each other for making a d*** joke live on the air.
Overcompensating: George Clooney, in accepting his award for Best Actor, praised his fellow nominee Michael Fassbender. Not only did he mention the actor's full-frontal nudity in "Shame," Clooney also joked about how the Irishman could play golf with his hands behind his back. Ahem. If the audience didn't get the joke, Clooney demonstrated by swinging his pelvis.
I hope he speaks to me for the next couple of years. He’s known to get mad at me. He's brilliant and I adore him. He’ll win another award, so I don’t feel bad."
What you don't know about him is he's very racist. I mean, really nasty stuff. I've also seen him punch a little blind kitten. Please welcome the evil Colin Firth.”