Jennifer Hudson on the cover of the December issue. (Ruven Afanador/Redbook)
"I'm getting used to my new self more than anything else. I got used to being plus-sized and knowing how to be that," Hudson says in the December issue, "whereas this is like, 'Okay, who am I?' I keep thinking that I probably need an extra-large or a large and the stylist is like, 'No, you need a medium or a small.'"
The "American Idol" champ, who became a spokesperson for Weight Watchers in 2010, has credited the diet plan, along with exercising four days a week, with helping her drop (and keep off) 80 pounds. Hudson has previously said she was inspired to lose the weight in order to set a better, more healthful for example for her son, 3-year-old son David Jr., her child with fiancé David Otunga.
But it's not always easy, and the 31-year-old tells tells Redbook that she still struggles with certain food temptations, especially around the holidays. "My biggest thing is banana pudding, but it's the devil! So no one is allowed to bring it into my house. Because I can't control myself. So why put it in my domain."
This year, unfortunately, the singer-actress has had much bigger challenges to deal with than tempting desserts. Earlier this year, Hudson took the stand during the emotional and highly publicized trial of the man who was accused of murdering her mother, brother, and 7-year-old nephew, Julian King, in 2008. William Balfour, Hudson's former brother-in-law, was found guilty of all three murders in May. While the verdict was clearly what Hudson and her family had hoped for, it can never make up for what her family lost.
"I mean, you can never fully get complete closure — whatever that means," the 31-year-old admits. "Is there ever really a point of closure? Do I feel healed? No."
To honor her nephew, Hudson created the Chicago-based Julian D. King Gift Foundation Dinner & Toy Drive, which grants Christmas wishes to kids who are progressing well in school.
"With everything that happened with our family, it's hard to get through the holidays. So I was wondering, 'How can we turn a negative around make it a positive thing?' And so we came up with giving back."
The December issue of Redbook hits newsstands on November 13.
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