Blog Posts by Erin Carlson

"My maternal desires are fully satisfied with my dogs." - Jamie McCarthy/WireImageBeing George Clooney's girlfriend comes with a caveat: Don't expect a ring and/or babies. Because you will never get them. The Cloon is neither getting married nor having children in this lifetime. This is fact. The tradeoff, however, is appealing: Red carpets! Lake Como! Being George Clooney's girlfriend! Anyway, the elusive bachelor might have just found The One in Italian paramour, Elisabetta Canalis, who -- lucky for him -- does not want to start a family.

"(Getting pregnant has) never been an objective for me," the dark-haired model and actress reveals in the Italian edition of Cosmo (via the HuffPo). "My maternal desires are fully satisfied with my dogs."

(Someone will surely distort her words to mean, "ELISABETTA CANALIS HATES CHILDREN!"). In any case, it appears that Clooney -- who once cared for his dearly departed potbellied pig, Max, like a father -- has met his pet-loving match. He's always expressed a lack of interest in fatherhood: "I just don't think it's something you

"I should have been on that stage." - John M. Heller/Getty ImagesFantasia Barrino is feeding on sour grapes. The soul singer, who won the Grammy award for Best R&B Artist, says she refused to attend Sunday's ceremony because she was not asked to sing in the Aretha Franklin tribute.

"They were honoring someone who was my idol, and there is no way I could have sat there and not got the happy feet and wanted to jump on the mic because she is my favorite," Fantasia tells BET's "106 & Park." "I felt like, you know, at the end of the day I should have been on that stage."

Instead, she stayed at home and cooked, tuning into the show here and there to catch performances by Lady Gaga and Cee-Lo. The Franklin homage gathered together the big voices of Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson, Florence Welch, Martina McBride and Yolanda Adams. The quintet oversang their hearts out, and the result was stirring.

Of note: Fantasia and Hudson competed against one another on the third season of "American Idol." While Fantasia won the reality-TV singing contest, Hudson

Haute mom-to-be. - Steve Granitz/WireImageIt's going to be a boy for Natalie Portman and her fiance, Benjamin Millepied, Life & Style reports. A source says: "They've only told a very small group of family members and friends that they're expecting a son. They are so excited. Benjamin cannot wait to be a father."

Portman, whose Bump has grown so big she can no longer attempt to hide it on or off the awards-show circuit, is due in the spring. Soon she'll have an Oscar in one arm ... and a baby in the other.

Vivienne Westwood and some girl. - Mike Marsland/WireImageVivienne Westwood presented an Elle Style Icon award to Emma Watson, and the fashion designer was all, "Emma Watson, who?" For shame!

Westwood, who dressed eccentric celebrity soulmate Helena Bonham Carter in a wacky frock for The Golden Globes, certainly did not intend to insult the "Harry Potter" superstar. Indeed, she seemed more "out-of-the-loop Miss Havisham" than "hateful meanie." And yet, some things are better left unsaid.

Take this embarrassing quote, for example: "It's veryself-indulgent of me because I was supposed to welcome and to announcethe winner of the Style Icon -- which I'm going to do -- and I wasgiven this text about a woman and how amazing she is, and yesterday Iwas asked, 'This lady would like you to present if she wins.' But Ididn't know who she was."

Watch and cringe:

Yikes. Fortunately, "this lady" took Westwood's snub in stride, demurely laughing off the designer's awkward introduction and strutting confidently to the stage to accept her trophy. At

Paris Hilton is driving -- where else? -- in the fast lane. The infamous socialite turns the big 3-0 on Thursday, and to mark the milestone, her boyfriend, Cy Waits, already bought her a $375,000 yellow Lexus LFA. There are photos. And in the shots, she wears a microphone attached to her long turquoise dress, presumably to pick up audio for her big TV comeback.

Hilton is in the midst of relaunching her career with a new, improved image and reality series called "The World According to Paris." She's promised to show us her truer, sweeter, unvarnished self rather than the vapid "character" she's portrayed all these years.  (Here are five things the real Paris Hilton would never do.)

Halle forgives Gabriel. - Steve Granitz/WireImageAll that ... for nothing? After a ridiculously public he said/she said custody battle, Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry have decided to bury the hatchet and forge a truce.

Radar Online reports that Aubry has filed court papers to dispute with Berry over custody of their 2 1/2-year-old daughter Nahla.

"Both sides realized how out of hands things had gotten recently," says a source, uttering a massive understatement. "Gabriel and Halle have spoken to each other and have committed to try and make things work, without the courts -- Gabe's decision to drop his case is his way of showing Halle he's prepared to take a leap of faith and trust her once again."

The exes launched into an epic war of words after Aubry filed for greater custody of the toddler in December; thus ensued a firestorm of bitterness, with Berry's camp accusing Aubry of using a racial slur against the actress and Aubry's people retaliating with personal attacks more or less amounting to "She is crazy." Last week, Ebony

Not smiling anymore. - Maury Phillips/WireImageMichael Lohan just can't win. Lohan -- shouty father of Lindsay, unsolicited endorser of Botox -- alleges he booked the actress to do the "Top 10 List" on Thursday's Letterman but her handlers put a stop to it.

Sounding off to TMZ, Papa Lohan snipes: "Anything positive that I bring into her life ... [her people] try to nix it."

He claims the troubled starlet gave her blessing, and discussed transportation to Letterman's L.A. studio, where she'd read the "Top 10" via satellite. But then, much to his dismay, she abruptly tweeted that she had never agreed to do the show. "I'm not sure how this happened, but I am sorry for the confusion," she wrote.

David Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants, issued a statement saying someone "purporting to be a friend of Lindsay's" had duped them.

As it happens, the so-called impostor was none other than Michael Lohan; as much as we mock the man, he did use his spotlight-chasing powers of exploitation for good -- for once! -- with the Letterman

Enthusiasm, curbed. - Ethan Miller/Getty ImagesWhenever something momentous happens to a Kardashian, we're always a little skeptical: Is this for real or for the "reality" show? Sometimes, it's both: Life & Style reports that elder sister Kourtney is engaged (for real) to her baby daddy Scott Disick, who popped the question (where else?) on the finale of her E! series "Kourtney and Kim Take New York."

Disick, who's been painted by producers as a selfish "American Psycho"-like jerk with terrifying anger management issues, has finally been embraced by the Kardashian clan after a mutual standoff of hatred that forced his secret fiancee to take a side. Much to her family's horror, she chose Disick.

"She's so excited for the finale to air this April so she can finally go out in public with her ring on," a Kourtney source tells the magazine. "She wears it at home all the time."

Well, now we all know, so what's stopping her?

Update: Kourtney tweeted what appears to be a typical Kardashian non-denial denial: "WOW!! Where do the mags come