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• Sandra Bullock: 'I'm Aware That I Can Be Annoying'

  posted by Jeanne Wolf, Parade - Thu Oct 29 2009, 8:35 AM PDT

  celebs: Sandra Bullock
  topics: Hotties

  Sandra Bullock reveals that she's not as sweet as she seems in the new issue of Parade. Parade Sandra Bullock is one of Hollywood's most popular and successful stars. But don't let the romantic-comedy sweetheart fool you; she's as tough as she is sweet. In her newest film, "The Blind Side," due out November 20, Bullock plays Leigh Anne Tuohy, a flamboyant well-to-do Southerner who makes a life-changing decision to adopt a disadvantaged African-American boy who goes on to become a star football player.
  
  The actress told Parade magazine that she didn't have to look very far to find the inspiration to play such a strong woman. Check out the excerpts below, then visit Parade.com to read the full interview.
  
  Her unexpected passion.
  "I like to iron. Ironing is comfort. It's control. I'm a nutty person who likes to make sure everything is in its place. I am a big ball of high energy and organization and structure. Don't forget, I'm half-German."
  
  She may play adorable onscreen, but in real life, she is driven.
  "Listen, I know I'm not easy to deal with. I'm controlling, and I want everything orderly, and I need lists. My mind goes a mile a minute. I'm difficult on every single level. I'm aware that I can be annoying."
  
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  Her newest film, "The Blind Side."
  "It's a film about people doing something for the betterment of someone else in the world. It deals with the ugly side of racial tension, which is still the truth of the South. I could really identify with my character's determination and outspokenness. She faces some daunting challenges. I understood the fierce sense of what's right and wrong that was driving her."

  Parade

  Just like mom.
  "My mom was like that. She had blinders on. She did what she did and didn't care what people thought. But as a kid, I was like, 'Oh, dear God, please make her stop and be normal.' I wanted an ordinary mom. My sister, Gesine, and I were lucky enough to be raised by a mother who did things unconventionally, and a father who was fine with the kids being raised that way. There was no gender in our house. I didn't realize that I couldn't do what boys could do, because my dad raised me as a boy."
  
  Struggling to cope with grief and keep her career on track after her mother's death in 2000.
  "I thought, 'How do I work through this?' I don't want to be one of those people who bottles it up. Asking for help was the biggest thing I ever learned. That was a tricky one for me. I usually feel like I can do everything. But I went for help after my mom passed away."
  
  Marriage was never on the to-do list.
  "I didn't grow up thinking, 'I'm gonna get married and have someone take care of me. I always wanted to be happy, have a good time, work hard."
  
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  Serendipity brought Bullock together with husband Jesse James. The two met when she went to his bike shop to introduce him to her godson, who was a fan.
  "After that meeting, Jesse tracked me down. I had no intention of going out with him. I said no for a month, but then I got to know him. I wasn't looking for a relationship, but he committed for the long haul."
  
  Finding a partner for life.
  "It's lucky when you have a partner. It took someone like him who was unafraid. My energy can be daunting. Do you really want to wake up to this at 5 in the morning? Apparently, he did."
  
  A changed woman.
  "I was good at bolting before. I didn't want to do the work. And I was too selfish to have kids. Now I work at what I love. If I didn't love him, I wouldn't be putting in the effort. I do approach things differently now that I'm married. I would never do anything that would harm his heart."
  
  Falling into step-motherhood.
  "The universe put this in our lap. I seemed to have stepped in right when I needed to be there. I now know that anything sweet, really sweet, that I have was nothing that I planned. If you don't have kids and animals, you don't truly know what real life is about."
  
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  Embracing her own unconventional nature.
  "I never did anything according to what anyone else wanted. That's why I think I am happy. I do everything 100% -- even my stupidest missteps. I know when I'm getting ready to mess up, I'm going to do it full-on. That's the way I was as a kid. Even into adulthood, I look back at some things and go, 'I can't believe I did that.' But I can also go back and say, 'I did that, I know I'm responsible for that, and I can make amends, and we can all laugh at it, because it's my mistake. I try not to blame it on anyone else unless I fully know it was their fault -- and then I have no problem pointing the finger."
  
  Living with no regrets.
  "I have to fight every single day to live my true life. I don't ever want to come home saying, 'I should have spoken my mind. I shouldn't have let someone say something that I didn't feel was right.' [But] I have to remember that there's a balance. I'm in the entertainment business. We're here to entertain people, to make them laugh and forget."

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